Six years ago today, I had a dream. It was a strange dream. I dreamed I was with my manager, and he told me he was going to fire me. I rolled out of bed and told my husband the dream because I was meeting with Bill that day and thought nothing more of it. When I got to Bill’s hotel, he asked, “Do you mind if we meet with the new Area Business Manager for your review before we go out in the field?” I said, ” No.” The Area Business Manager joined us in a private room at the hotel near Sea-Tac as did the human resource director on conference call. They accused me of not fulfilling my obligations as a pharmaceutical rep. and before I knew it, I no longer had a job. The death was swift.

I was in complete shock since I had been a top earning rep.; thrown into a sense of victimization. Three men against a woman seem like bullying behavior, and I will always wonder if they would have done that to me if I were a man. I didn’t know how to counter it because I felt shame and that knocked the hell out of any fight in me. I was an Institutional rep which means I am part of a group that’s on the highest rung in selling products. We have to get to the thought leaders, form a relationship that those leaders trust, thus gaining a strong foothold on influencing that person. Creating this relationship takes time and dedication because these people are busy doing research, teaching and talking at conferences. Later on, when talking to my Institutional Team, they said, “ Beth, we have entirely different rules of daily obligations. Why didn’t you say that?” I replied, “I was in shock and couldn’t think of anything to defend myself, so I signed their paperwork of my guilt.

We checked me out of my storage unit with their products, they drove me home to pick up their printer (I had already given them my laptop) and they drove away in my business car. Grant met me on our porch with the printer, so the death was as quick as possible. The shame and humiliation of this event were a tsunami, like the one that happened that Friday in Tōhoku Japan. A Tsunami is fast and furious, leaving devastation and loss everywhere.The clean-up takes years.

The Tsunami is a great metaphor for the change happening in me. I had lots of anger to work through. But it gave me an opportunity to see what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I could go back into Occupational Therapy or Feldenkrais, and I interviewed in corporations again just to make sure I didn’t want that. I decided to write. In taking that bold step, I formed this company: Beth Lord’s Annie Piffaknee, PLLC and Beth Lord’s Write Heart Memories® – Turning your 30 minutes of words into a fifty-page softbound book. I also have many options for turning your story into books on your own too. Turning your stories into books are terrific biofeedback mechanisms that take you into the wholeness of who you are, your business brand, a family legacy or something creative. It's an easy way to remember key events, people, and situations that brought you to where you are now. These are inspiring, motivating and moving for all of us. I am grateful for the firing because now I have the work I’m doing the rest of my life. “What did I do in surviving a firing from a job I performed well?” The key point to this story is I opened a door into myself and peeled layers of self- doubt to understand my self-worth. My tools for crossing this bridge of uncertainty was self-care.

Yesterday, I was the mediator at Melissa Peterman and Katelyn Peters Townsquared “Women’s Business Breakfast event.” I moderated a panel of four business women in different fields of self-care, and we asked questions and answered them. Self-care doesn’t come in just one size; self-care involves going to the core of who you are and peeling layers of being your authentic self.

If I had known what I would have had to have gone through to get to this point, I would gladly have said, “No thank you.” But I had no choice; this trauma was major. But traumas can lead to greater potential if you face the monsters and jump over the hurdles. I am happy to be here. I’m happy being myself in this company and helping you write your stories.

In honor of my six year anniversary, anyone who is interested in getting my, “Self-Care Question & Answer Journal, as a gift, have until March 11, 2017. Send me your physical addresses for shipment via beth@bethlord.com

If we know how to self-care ourselves, we make ourselves a much better person in the community, business, and the home. #yourthinbooksrock
 

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