I am especially thankful for the generosity of love you have shown me throughout the years. You did not cut me out of your life as some people would when I was no longer your “daughter-in-law,” but these connections go much deeper than what anyone can surmise.

I am so grateful to know you and love you. You will always be my mother and a dear friend.

Many memories flood my heart, but the most poignant memory is you letting me wear your wedding dress for my wedding with Paul. You know how Paul and I went gung-ho into getting married with little money. You and Dad brilliantly came to our rescue with the location, rehearsal dinner, honeymoon and wedding dress for a marriage to take place within ten months of engagement.

My sister had redone my Mom’s wedding dress but didn’t wear it for her wedding. She offered it to me, and I said, “thank-you.” What daughter wouldn’t want to wear her Mom’s wedding dress? I didn’t think about such feminine things in those days, so I didn’t calculate that I’m not a lace kind of gal. My Mother’s Wedding Dress was all lace. One thing led to another with my sister, and she decided I could not wear the dress unless I paid her $1000.00  A thousand dollars was a lot of money in those days. That extravagance wasn’t in our wedding budget. Paul and I didn’t exactly know what to do. 

We were at the kitchen table at your house talking this over with you and Dad. all of a sudden you hesitantly but willingly said, I’ve saved my wedding dress, and it’s stored downstairs. You added humbly, it isn’t much, just a satin dress that might be yellow by this time but it brought me happiness, and I’m more than willing to share it. And in the voice you used when finding any fantastic bargain at Carson’s or Marshall Fields, You said, and it doesn’t cost any money. Imagine Mom’s laugh, especially when she’d bring out all the bags of stuff that held her bargains and showed each prized item, the deal she got and who she was going to give it to, and you’ve captured the feeling.

The first thing that came into my heart that I said was, “That’s your wedding dress. That’s for Linda someday when she gets married. Don’t you want to save it for her? Shouldn’t that be her choice first?”

Without missing a beat, without thinking about it at all you said, Linda can always wear it again. I’m offering it to you, Beth, if you want it.

I had no way of knowing how much that wedding dress would mean to all of us throughout these years. I had no idea of knowing how much it would mean to me that you and Dad accepted me with open arms even though I was not Catholic. Little did I know the destiny of Paul and me but Mom and Dad embraced all the changes with love. Their love and God’s love.

Mom went downstairs to find this great big box. A few minutes later, she had it in her hands. She was delighted, like a kid seeing a favorite toy or being surprised by finding a rare treasure Mom brought it up. She put it down on the living room floor because it was too big to place on the kitchen table.

Dad, Paul and I went into the living room to see what might come out of this box. The dress had been cleaned and put away from professional wedding cleaners but how do you know what happens to these things?

Mom cut away the plastic protection. I anguished over that because now time was going to get in and what if I didn’t like it? What if I didn’t want to wear it? Mom didn’t care. She was so willing to offer me this wedding dress with open hands and heart. We all peered in closer as she unwrapped the plastic and the tissue and started pulling it out.

One sleeve here. One sleeves there, the collar, the buttons, the bodice, the little lace on the sleeve edges and the rest of the satin skirted dress. It was not a white as mom explained but a cream sort of color. Satin was the fabric.

She pulled it out and held it to her. She was smiling imagining walking down the aisle with Dad. Dad had that silly grin as well because he remembered that day too. I was utterly surprised because it was the kind of dress I would have chosen precisely for myself.

The wedding dress was elegant, graceful and something I would have chosen for myself.

I was overwhelmed

What do you say in this sort of situation?

Mom willingly said, take it, it’s yours. So I did. I wore it, and it was the perfect wedding dress for me. October 30th, 1982. It was a magical wedding celebration. I had a wedding cleaner professionally clean it and wrap it and protect it with time until Linda chose to wear the dress.

But Linda didn’t choose to wear the dress. The dress sat in the box. The dress sat, and sat and sat in the box until one day, in 2009, Katie and I went to visit Gramma and Grandpa, and Katie asked if she could wear that dress to her wedding. Oh, how happy Gramma and Grandpa were because they were passing down their fairytale experience to all of us.

Mom brought the wedding box up and pulled the dress out. Katie hugged it to her bodice, and there was joy all around. She also asked if her longtime friend,  Stephanie, a fantastic seamstress could adjust the dress to give it a more modern, Katie looking wedding dress. Mom said, “yes.” Stephanie worked her magic and Katie was a gorgeous bride on July 10, 2010. Grandpa had passed away in May so he couldn’t join us by way of earth. He did join us by way of Heaven.

The wedding dress continues.

Happy 85th Birthday Mom. I love you very much.                                                              Beth